Her Fondest Wish
by Mistress of Sarcasm
Summary: My take on Natarle Badgiruel, how she felt through the series, why she was so mean and cold, and then, her final moments of life, as she watches her former captain fire on her, while she smiles...


Disclaimer: I own nothing except the idea I came up with, and the poem. Not the concept of the poem, or the character of the poem, but the essence of the poem is all mine

A.N.- this is what I believe Natarle felt. The final bit is jsut before, and as she dies

Enjoy.

They called her cold hearted.

They called her unfeeling.

They call her cruel.

They called her many things, when they thought she couldn't hear them.

But she could hear.

She heard every cold whisper,

Every unkind word

Told in an icy tone.

She heard them,

Day and night,

Hour after hour,

The cruel words echoing her ears

The harsh tones cutting her flesh

Like the bitter blade of a knife.

Under the watchful eye,

Of the silver moon

And silent stars,

The words played over in her mind

Caught in the never ending loop,

Destine to play on forever

Under the watchful eye,

Of the silver moon

And the silent stars,

The tears the harsh words invoked

Slipped through her barrier

And tainted her stony face

Under the watchful eye,

Of the silver moon,

And the silent stars,

The cries of anguish,

Those icy tones created

Climbed over her walls,

And sullied her sharp tongue.

Under the watchful eye,

Of the silver moon

And silent stars,

She whispered her secret sorrows,

And begged forgiveness

Under the watchful eye,

Of the silver moon

And silent stars,

She bared her tattered soul,

And empty heart,

For all the world to see

Only when no one would see

Save for the silver moon

And silent stars

By the light of the fiery sun,

Her face was stony

And her tongue sharp

She earned their harsh words

In icy tones

She played deaf to their cruel whispers

And punished when she could not

She held her pained feelings in

Watching in silent envy

As her superior acted upon hers

With no remorse

Or regret

She watched in silent amazement

As her superior

Was given kind words in a gentle tone

By the light of fiery sun

Her stony face

And sharp tongue

Fought against

The rash

Loving

Presence

Her superior seemed to have.

Her superior who earned

Kind words

In a gentle tone

By the light of the fiery sun

She was lost

Confused

Bewildered

She, she who did what was right

Who followed every rule

Who stayed by what she had learned

Received only their harsh words

And icy tones

When the one who went against what she was taught

Disregarded all the rules,

Did exactly as she pleased,

Received their kind words

And gentle tones.

Why was doing what she was taught to do

Always the thing that made her hated?

It made no sense

It had no logic

And so she held her stony face

And sharp tongue

Even under the watchful eye

Of the silver moon

And silent stars

Lest they betray her as well

It wasn't until the end,

That she understood

Understood why

The kind words

And gentle tones

Were given to her superior

It wasn't until the end

That she learned what it felt like

To simply follow your heart

Her lifeblood floated before her

Unhindered by the gravity not to be found in space

A monster was standing before her

Yelling and screaming

Like the madman he was

But it didn't matter

Nothing mattered

Not the pain in her stomach and arm

Not the tightness of hurt in her chest

For the monster had killed her friend

Not even the uncanny knowledge in the back of her mind,

Knowledge that she was about to die

She had gone against the rules

She had let go of what she had been taught

She had followed her feelings,

Without the watchful eye

Of the silver moon

And the silent stars

Away from the light

Of the fiery sun

Into a place where shadow met light

Where love met hate

Where wring met right

And everything ceased to exist

The monster's grip tightened

But she took no heed

She could feel

In the recess of her mind

Her superior's pain

Her wish for vengeance

Very soon now,

It would all be over

The monster let go

And turned to face

The beam of light that cut across a war torn space

To destroy them

The monster screamed

His fear and pain evident

But she smiled

Softly

Sweetly

As she turned to kiss the lethal beam

And taste the coming death

Light poured around her

Object torn to nothing

All around her

And she felt

Sweet oblivion over take her

And in her dying mind

Their voices echoing

Whispering to her

Kind words

In gentle tones

Okay, I was felling really poetic, and decided to write this. Please, let me know what you think of it. If you want me to do more poetry, I was thinking of doing the final moments for everyone who died in Gundam Seed. Let me know if you think it's a good idea

Luv lots,

Maiden of Sin


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